But is it funny?
Humour is very much in the eye of the beholder, but in a culture where our norm is often to laugh along rather than speak up, many people struggle to know where the line is.
Have you seen the Facebook posts that say, “I did (insert humorous comment), and now I’m on my way to HR to explain my actions”? Perhaps it’s just my FB algorithm but my feed is smashed with posts like these. Some I find hilarious, some mildly amusing, others make me cringe.
Humour is very much in the eye of the beholder, but in a culture where our norm is often to laugh along rather than speak up many people struggle to know where the line is.
In a culture where having fun, sarcasm, and/or teasing are highly valued and banter is ‘how we show we care’ - do you know what is appropriate humour within your respective team? Or perhaps you know where the line is within your work area but don’t consider that this line may be different in another team.
Having a casual laugh or engaging in banter at a workplace can be good natured and inclusive. As long as it is between people who understand each other’s boundaries, have a mutual understanding of each other and are ok with what’s being talked about. In fact, when managed well banter can boost morale and reduce stress BUT the impact depends on the context, delivery, and relationship between parties.
I have a rule for myself: if I find myself stopping to think ‘should I say/do this or not’ then I probably shouldn’t say/do it. If I am questioning my action then my action shouldn’t be shared.
I also like these 7 guidelines:
It’s NOT banter if:
You would be upset if someone said it to you
It’s hurtful, degrading, or cruel
You’re not friends
Someone has asked you to stop
The target isn’t laughing
It focuses on someone’s insecurities
Your intention was to ridicule or humiliate
Sexual and gender-based harassment can also take the form of innuendo or inappropriate jokes, and the defence ‘I didn’t mean it’, ‘It was taken out of context’, or ‘I didn’t mean to cause offense’ will not work against an allegation (formal or informal). The rule impact NOT intent comes into play here, your intention does not matter if there is a negative impact on another person.
Light-hearted? Playful? Offensive? Disrespectful? Who decides? - The person who decides what is offensive is the person who is hearing (or overhearing) the comment; this may be directly or indirectly/second-hand.
Avoiding offense does not need rigid rules that forbid any relaxed engagement between workmates. The way to avoid offense instead is to educate about diversity, discrimination, and harassment. We have the power to self-regulate and to not use insecurities or personal attributes as humorous topics. We should also be encouraging speak-up cultures, let’s empower and encourage others to speak up against inappropriate jokes/comments/banter, and microaggressions (Micro-aggressions — Respect at Work). And let’s also be better upstanders (Be an upstander — Respect at Work) and speak up to interrupt and stop inappropriate jokes/comments/banter by others, and support subjects of inappropriate comments and actions.
Australian humour can be tricky to navigate but it’s not impossible, a truly respectful workplace is one where everyone feels respected and safe, rather than anxious or intimidated.
Think before you speak
Recognise that we have moved on from the 1980s, what once may have been accepted may no longer be ok
Appreciate that you don’t ever really know how someone else might interpret your comment or joke
Use empathy, kindness, and compassion, and,
Err on the side of caution.